The Answer

Wow, I have got to get busy and catch this story up b/c we are only 17 days away from leaving and I am sure I will have a-lot more to say after this trip. I just got home from helping pack arts & crafts for 1000 kids. I can't wait to see the joy on their sweet little faces from having a bracelet, some crayons, etc. to call their own!

So, back to the answer to my question. Once I started journaling, it was amazing to see how God was speaking to me. I would just write down verses or thoughts I came across. Looking back now I see how they were all laying a path. At first, verses about seeking wisdom, asking and it will be given, contentment, God knowing the plans for our lives..etc. Then lots of verses about fear, anxiety, trust, peace..hmm?? Some days the same verse would "appear" more than once, and that was exciting!

In late September, I found out that a group from church was taking a mission trip to Africa and that they were going to be helping Katie out at Amazima..what?!? Really?!? The connection was a surprise, and something I could not get off of my mind. While this was going on another "coincidence" occurred. I walked into the bookstore one day to maybe purchase Crazy Love or Fearless (had just heard they were good?). I settled for a book that was on sale and as I was checking out had an amazing conversation with the check out girl all b/c of the book I had chosen. She ended up telling me how she was raised in home of witchcraft. How a grocery store clerk had invited her to church. How she had come to know the Lord, along with her husband and witchcraft mom. This girl had an amazing testimony!! I could have talked to her for hours. Anyway, in the midst of this conversation she mentioned Crazy Love. Needless to say I ended up buying it too. If you haven't read it, I would recommend it. It will definitely make you think and reconsider some things..or at least it did for me.

A mission trip to Africa?? I could not get if off my mind. I came up with every excuse in the book why I shouldn't go. A few being....the money it would cost me to go might better benefit those children if I just donated it to help them. Maybe, but what would that have to do with changing MY heart? What can one really do to change the problems that are going on? Doesn't really matter...I can go love on some sweet children, and if it only changes their day, wouldn't that be worth it? I have never been away from my boys that long, could I do it? As my sweet husband said, our children have family in abundance to love on them and anything they need at their fingertips. Could I really tell God that one of the biggest blessings he has ever given me was my excuse not to listen? If they are a gift to me from him, shouldn't I trust HIM to take care of them regardless? I am not a great traveler..have you checked the flight times to Africa..lets just say it is long! If I can trust God with the big details, shouldn't I give him the little ones too? There is plenty to do here at home that could be considered missions. Yes, those things are important and need to be done too, but was I still trying to ignore what God was telling me now, for this time? There were many others, but excuse after excuse just convicted me more.

I finally checked the website and saw that the upcoming trip to Africa was full & closed. Have to admit that I might have been a little relieved. Maybe this was my answer and I wasn't supposed to go right now. But, mind was still spinning and my heart strings tugging..why? I let the girls from church know and they mentioned trying to be a back-up for the trip? Oh, my, this was a little tougher to do than I thought. If I did this, I had to totally have my yes on the table and say I would go. Why is it so hard to be obedient sometimes? After much praying, crying, and wearing out a few friends ears, I decided to do it. I had been asking God to be direct with me so I would have no doubt. If this worked out I would know it was meant to be. I contacted Visiting Orphans and was told I would be 3rd on a back up list..popular trip. Alright, now to wait and see.
Exactly 3 days later I got an e-mail (yes, 3 days) that said there was an opening and I needed to commit that day if I wanted to go. Wow!! I asked about the 2 in front of me. The person that backed out was flying out of Nashville and those 2 were not - guess who was though? Now, that is about as direct of an answer you can get if you ask me. Can't really say no to that!

So, that is the short (or not so short) story of how I got on board. God laid it on my heart and then pretty much laid it in my lap :-). I have to say that I am figuring out this trip may be as much about the time before for me. I am having to totally trust God and ask him for peace and courage continually. I told a friend that these growing pains weren't easy, but I know they will be so worth while in the end. Overall, I am soo excited about this trip. I have days that I may be a little uneasy, but when I am, God is so good to send me constant reminders about how he has it all in HIS hands. One thing that I read during this time was that God chooses us for things more for our weaknesses than our strengths. When this happens it amplifies our need for him. Let's just say that oh, how "I need Thee" while getting my heart & mind ready to GO!!