Wow, I have got to get busy and catch this story up b/c we are only 17 days away from leaving and I am sure I will have a-lot more to say after this trip. I just got home from helping pack arts & crafts for 1000 kids. I can't wait to see the joy on their sweet little faces from having a bracelet, some crayons, etc. to call their own!
So, back to the answer to my question. Once I started journaling, it was amazing to see how God was speaking to me. I would just write down verses or thoughts I came across. Looking back now I see how they were all laying a path. At first, verses about seeking wisdom, asking and it will be given, contentment, God knowing the plans for our lives..etc. Then lots of verses about fear, anxiety, trust, peace..hmm?? Some days the same verse would "appear" more than once, and that was exciting!
In late September, I found out that a group from church was taking a mission trip to Africa and that they were going to be helping Katie out at Amazima..what?!? Really?!? The connection was a surprise, and something I could not get off of my mind. While this was going on another "coincidence" occurred. I walked into the bookstore one day to maybe purchase Crazy Love or Fearless (had just heard they were good?). I settled for a book that was on sale and as I was checking out had an amazing conversation with the check out girl all b/c of the book I had chosen. She ended up telling me how she was raised in home of witchcraft. How a grocery store clerk had invited her to church. How she had come to know the Lord, along with her husband and witchcraft mom. This girl had an amazing testimony!! I could have talked to her for hours. Anyway, in the midst of this conversation she mentioned Crazy Love. Needless to say I ended up buying it too. If you haven't read it, I would recommend it. It will definitely make you think and reconsider some things..or at least it did for me.
A mission trip to Africa?? I could not get if off my mind. I came up with every excuse in the book why I shouldn't go. A few being....the money it would cost me to go might better benefit those children if I just donated it to help them. Maybe, but what would that have to do with changing MY heart? What can one really do to change the problems that are going on? Doesn't really matter...I can go love on some sweet children, and if it only changes their day, wouldn't that be worth it? I have never been away from my boys that long, could I do it? As my sweet husband said, our children have family in abundance to love on them and anything they need at their fingertips. Could I really tell God that one of the biggest blessings he has ever given me was my excuse not to listen? If they are a gift to me from him, shouldn't I trust HIM to take care of them regardless? I am not a great traveler..have you checked the flight times to Africa..lets just say it is long! If I can trust God with the big details, shouldn't I give him the little ones too? There is plenty to do here at home that could be considered missions. Yes, those things are important and need to be done too, but was I still trying to ignore what God was telling me now, for this time? There were many others, but excuse after excuse just convicted me more.
I finally checked the website and saw that the upcoming trip to Africa was full & closed. Have to admit that I might have been a little relieved. Maybe this was my answer and I wasn't supposed to go right now. But, mind was still spinning and my heart strings tugging..why? I let the girls from church know and they mentioned trying to be a back-up for the trip? Oh, my, this was a little tougher to do than I thought. If I did this, I had to totally have my yes on the table and say I would go. Why is it so hard to be obedient sometimes? After much praying, crying, and wearing out a few friends ears, I decided to do it. I had been asking God to be direct with me so I would have no doubt. If this worked out I would know it was meant to be. I contacted Visiting Orphans and was told I would be 3rd on a back up list..popular trip. Alright, now to wait and see.
Exactly 3 days later I got an e-mail (yes, 3 days) that said there was an opening and I needed to commit that day if I wanted to go. Wow!! I asked about the 2 in front of me. The person that backed out was flying out of Nashville and those 2 were not - guess who was though? Now, that is about as direct of an answer you can get if you ask me. Can't really say no to that!
So, that is the short (or not so short) story of how I got on board. God laid it on my heart and then pretty much laid it in my lap :-). I have to say that I am figuring out this trip may be as much about the time before for me. I am having to totally trust God and ask him for peace and courage continually. I told a friend that these growing pains weren't easy, but I know they will be so worth while in the end. Overall, I am soo excited about this trip. I have days that I may be a little uneasy, but when I am, God is so good to send me constant reminders about how he has it all in HIS hands. One thing that I read during this time was that God chooses us for things more for our weaknesses than our strengths. When this happens it amplifies our need for him. Let's just say that oh, how "I need Thee" while getting my heart & mind ready to GO!!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Question
Well, back to what I will call the beginning of this African journey...
As a stay at home mom, my life was going to be changing as I had known it for the last 8 years. My baby boy was starting kindergarten. For about a year before this was going to happen, I started wondering what will this mean, and what am I supposed to do? I just had a feeling that I should be doing something more, but had no idea what that really meant?? Maybe it was a little bit of the mommy blues knowing my little buddy would not be with me anymore (Luke and I loved our Target and Scholtzsky's days). Maybe it was a little bit of guilt from all those people who think your job as a mom is done once the kids start school..."what are you going to do now"?? Or, maybe it was a gentle tug from God wanting me to seek him for an answer.
There were a-lot of circumstances going on around me too, and now looking back I realize these were not a coincidence, but God's way of starting to "connect the dots" for me. I had followed a friends trip to Africa with her family and thru that had started to read Katie's blog (go to Amazima on my page and check it out if you haven't...no words to explain). To top all this off, there were people all around me who were adopting or announcing by complete surprise that they were pregnant.
Well, as a mom who's baby was starting school, you can imagine what all this did. I started wondering again what all this meant? Was I doing enough? Should I be considering more children? Was this something I really wanted, or was it just emotions from everyone around me? Adoption? My mind was going in circles. Long talk with my sweet husband one day on our way to the lake. Bless his heart, I think he was a little surprised by all the questions on my mind... he offered to buy me a convertible to get over my mommy blues...lol. Not sure that he was questioning or feeling the same things, so we came to the conclusion to just pray about it.
So, in August when school started back I decided that one thing I would do with this so called "extra time" I would now have is to dig a little deeper in my quite time. I also decided to start a journal in the hopes it would help give me some answers to my questions. The first words I wrote in my journal were these...
What is God's will/desire for this next phase of my life?
Little did I know how quickly he would give me my first answer!!
As a stay at home mom, my life was going to be changing as I had known it for the last 8 years. My baby boy was starting kindergarten. For about a year before this was going to happen, I started wondering what will this mean, and what am I supposed to do? I just had a feeling that I should be doing something more, but had no idea what that really meant?? Maybe it was a little bit of the mommy blues knowing my little buddy would not be with me anymore (Luke and I loved our Target and Scholtzsky's days). Maybe it was a little bit of guilt from all those people who think your job as a mom is done once the kids start school..."what are you going to do now"?? Or, maybe it was a gentle tug from God wanting me to seek him for an answer.
There were a-lot of circumstances going on around me too, and now looking back I realize these were not a coincidence, but God's way of starting to "connect the dots" for me. I had followed a friends trip to Africa with her family and thru that had started to read Katie's blog (go to Amazima on my page and check it out if you haven't...no words to explain). To top all this off, there were people all around me who were adopting or announcing by complete surprise that they were pregnant.
Well, as a mom who's baby was starting school, you can imagine what all this did. I started wondering again what all this meant? Was I doing enough? Should I be considering more children? Was this something I really wanted, or was it just emotions from everyone around me? Adoption? My mind was going in circles. Long talk with my sweet husband one day on our way to the lake. Bless his heart, I think he was a little surprised by all the questions on my mind... he offered to buy me a convertible to get over my mommy blues...lol. Not sure that he was questioning or feeling the same things, so we came to the conclusion to just pray about it.
So, in August when school started back I decided that one thing I would do with this so called "extra time" I would now have is to dig a little deeper in my quite time. I also decided to start a journal in the hopes it would help give me some answers to my questions. The first words I wrote in my journal were these...
What is God's will/desire for this next phase of my life?
Little did I know how quickly he would give me my first answer!!
Friday, November 13, 2009
A Backpack?!?!
I am going to start with what has been on my heart this week. As you will find out, there is A-LOT that God is teaching me, and he probably continues to chuckle as he just keeps asking me to step out of my box. If you know me at all, and have been anywhere with me, you would probably agree to say that I "over pack". Just in my nature to be prepared and have a choice if I need it. (I even take a little pride in being known as the one among my friends to have whatever you need either in my purse or car).
When I first signed up for this trip, I began to get a few details about things. One being that we get 2 checked bags which will both be full of stuff for the kids..wonderful, I love that idea! The next thing I read was that our personal items had to go in a 30lb. carry on. Well, alright..this will be really hard, but I think I could do that?? I will have to just shop for some really light weight luggage..lol. Well, I continued to detail search about this trip, b/c details just tend to settle my heart a little sometimes. Looking on the airline website I see this...carry on allowance..15lbs. What? Are you kidding me?? All my stuff for 10 days in Africa in a 15 lb. carry on. Could this be right? It was, the airline just changed their guidelines..of course they did. The young guy leading our trip is like yeah, just a backpack or something should be fine (gotta love how men can pack). They said we might be able to cheat a little on the wgt. and have some room in the checked bags. This was a definitely causing me a little anxiety at first, but the more I thought about it, the more excited I got!!
How blessed am I that I am stressing about putting an inkling of what I have (or think that I need) in a backpack for a trip that is only 10 days long??? I am sure a-lot of people in Africa could place ALL their belongings in a backpack. So what if I am a little grungy for a few days, maybe I won't have all the "comfort" things that I like to have, but you know what..that is more than alright. After all, I get to return home to literally truckloads of stuff, not a backpack full.
So, I usually pack for a weekend trip like I am going to a third world country, but now I will be packing for a third world country like I am going on an overnighter. Oh, gotta love it when he says get out of that box!
When I first signed up for this trip, I began to get a few details about things. One being that we get 2 checked bags which will both be full of stuff for the kids..wonderful, I love that idea! The next thing I read was that our personal items had to go in a 30lb. carry on. Well, alright..this will be really hard, but I think I could do that?? I will have to just shop for some really light weight luggage..lol. Well, I continued to detail search about this trip, b/c details just tend to settle my heart a little sometimes. Looking on the airline website I see this...carry on allowance..15lbs. What? Are you kidding me?? All my stuff for 10 days in Africa in a 15 lb. carry on. Could this be right? It was, the airline just changed their guidelines..of course they did. The young guy leading our trip is like yeah, just a backpack or something should be fine (gotta love how men can pack). They said we might be able to cheat a little on the wgt. and have some room in the checked bags. This was a definitely causing me a little anxiety at first, but the more I thought about it, the more excited I got!!
How blessed am I that I am stressing about putting an inkling of what I have (or think that I need) in a backpack for a trip that is only 10 days long??? I am sure a-lot of people in Africa could place ALL their belongings in a backpack. So what if I am a little grungy for a few days, maybe I won't have all the "comfort" things that I like to have, but you know what..that is more than alright. After all, I get to return home to literally truckloads of stuff, not a backpack full.
So, I usually pack for a weekend trip like I am going to a third world country, but now I will be packing for a third world country like I am going on an overnighter. Oh, gotta love it when he says get out of that box!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Better Late than Never
Alright, I know that I am soo behind on this starting a blog thing. But, I figure that at some point any good blog stalker should jump on board...right? I have had several people say that I should start a blog to journal about my upcoming mission trip to Africa. So, why not? After all, I have to say that this journey I am on was started in a large part because of some blogs I was following. So, maybe all that computer time was not a waste after all?? If I can use a blog to let others know what God is doing, then maybe I will give it a try.
I have a-lot of back-tracking to do to tell my story, so get ready for rambling posts that probably won't be in order or make much sense for awhile. (I am sure I just lost all 3 people that might even read this). I am hoping this will be a good place to keep track of my two precious boys too, as they are growing up way too fast.
With all that said, READY...SET... here we GO!
I have a-lot of back-tracking to do to tell my story, so get ready for rambling posts that probably won't be in order or make much sense for awhile. (I am sure I just lost all 3 people that might even read this). I am hoping this will be a good place to keep track of my two precious boys too, as they are growing up way too fast.
With all that said, READY...SET... here we GO!
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