Pause to Listen

I know we are supposed to be heading to Katie's with this post, but I had to take a break in the story and share something.

I am not sure that I ever thought about or realized how hard the transition of coming back home from a mission trip would be. I have to admit that it took me a full week before I even felt somewhat "normal" again. Not only is it hard on you physically, it is tough emotionally. I was more than thrilled to be back home with my hubby and sweet boys. I felt a whole new level of how blessed we are, but jumping back into day to day life was not so easy. I could not get my mind out of Africa and everything that was going on here just seemed SO trivial in comparison. My house was a mess...I didn't unpack my stuff...my boys even went without a bath for 2 or 3 days. All this stuff that would usually drive me crazy...just didn't really even seem to matter at the time. Regular conversation was strange, and I even struggled with sharing pics and telling stories at times. At certain points you just want to scream...no, listen to me...you don't understand what we were seeing, smelling, hearing, doing & feeling!!

God is so good! Time (and his grace) are certainly helping me in all these areas. There is one thing though, that I don't want to change. Maybe I should never wish to get completely back to "normal". I don't want to forget how God touched my heart and the feelings I had while I was there. I told friends that one of the hardest things was coming back and not feeling purpose or God's closeness daily like we did in Africa. Each day was all about serving him...no distractions..only his plan and purpose. I am sure we all had our hearts and minds wide open too, so why wouldn't we expect to feel his presence like never before? I have been a little convicted these last few days. God is right beside me here at home, just like I felt he was 1/2 way around the world. I am the one that has "moved". I have to admit that I was in such a blah mode that I really didn't even want to open my Bible or read my devotions for that first week back. Note to self...that will not help at all...lol. So, as a feeling of normalcy started to come back, I decided it was past time for me to "return".

It has been hard for me to find words to describe a-lot of things in Africa. I know a prayer for our group was for wisdom when we returned. One way I was seeking that out before our trip was to journal and write down verses or thoughts that I came across. It was amazing to look back and see how HE was making connections and laying paths. God was definitely speaking when I took the time to seek and listen. So, as I was reading last night, I wandered a little from the verse in my devotion and found this...

SORROWFUL, YET ALWAYS REJOICING; POOR, YET MAKING MANY RICH; HAVING NOTHING, AND YET POSSESSING EVERYTHING.
2 Corinthians 6:10.

This verse hit me like a rock! I stopped to write it down. It was perfectly saying what my heart felt for so many of the sweet people and precious children that we met in Africa. What is our excuse on a daily basis to not rejoice, make others feel rich, and know that we possess all we ever need in HIM! My mind was spinning, and I almost got up to blog last night, but I didn't. I am so glad that I waited. You see my God was wanting to show off just a little more. I woke up and remembered to read a daily devotion that I get by e-mail. It has been going to junk mail for some reason, so I was glad I thought to look for it this morning. I almost lost my breath when I read one of the verses at the end....you guessed it 2 Corinthians 6:10.

You see, God is always ready to speak....we just have to seek him and take the time to listen!!!

The thought crossed my mind that hearing from God can be a-lot like the radio in your car. There is always music there. But, if you never turned it on, tuned in to a station, or turned up the volume, you would never know it was there or hear any of it - only silence. HE is always there, but how often do we get nothing b/c we haven't tuned in? I know there is a lot of good "music" out there that I don't want to miss!